The stinging feeling of defeat is one the we would all like to completely avoid. The reality though is that life places situations before us that do not always comply with our wishes. We are faced with good times and bad times, but it is how we bounce back from the bad times is what demonstrates our ability to not get crushed by the weight of life. Resiliency is the word to best describe this continual process of bouncing back, but what do you do when your resiliency seems depleted?
It is hard to make a comeback when you immerse yourself in the mindset of self-loathing and the “woe is me” attitude. This mindset will swallow you alive and make you believe that your best days are truly behind you and that misery is here to stay for good. When you fall victim to this depressing state, you have helped the circumstances around you defeat yourself. I speak from experience when I write this because I too have allowed myself to be consumed by the loathing feeling of defeated purpose. For nearly three weeks I could not shake the notion that I had failed in life, or better said failed at my pursuit to become wealthy. I was making good money working in the family business but due to bad business investments, the good money was suddenly stalled. When something like that happens initial shock sets in because it is so unexpected. I blamed myself for not saving more money and for allowing myself to be solely dependent on one source of income. I blamed my boss/mom for not being more financially sound in her investments and for not having cash reserves in place in case things went bad. I have realized now that while doing all this blaming and sulking; I should have been working hard towards producing a turnaround in my unexpected misfortunes.
While I am working towards my comeback; let me outline to you how such a feat can and will be accomplished.
1) Move Past the Disappointment. Life is not always fair and can make you want to give up. When such circumstances occur you have to possess the mental fortitude to make those things stepping-stones towards better days. Sure it is hard to do exactly that when you are going through rough times but rough times build character and strength. If we always had good days then we would not learn to appreciate them because they would be a permanent state of our existence. You have to remember during such moments of disappointment that the present does not represent your future, which is waiting ahead for you to determine its outcome.
2) Put Together a Plan. Without a good plan failure is usually waiting around the corner. In order to get out of a dismal situation you have to know how recovery will be achieved. You are in the position you are in for a reason and whatever the reason may be you have to seek how to resolve your current status. Make a list of actions, goals or initiatives; just make sure you are putting together something that will get you moving forward. Do not sit around crying; write down the problem and apply thoughts to the situation which will help you rise above the current lows.
3) Execute Your Plan, Learn From The Past. Once the mind gets moving, effective action must follow . Your problems will not solve themselves, that is ultimately your responsibility. Setbacks usually present you with the opportunity to explore new options, that means new opportunities to grow. Your plan should involve growth along with overcoming and not to just make it through the current rough patch. What I mean by this is that just making it through means you are still vulnerable to the same circumstances. What you are working towards should both get you past your problems and teach you how to avoid such circumstances in the future. It is amazing how many people find themselves with the same problems over and over again because they refuse to grow beyond the trouble that continually afflicts them. Do not be this person.
Life involves learning and growing. Sometimes we hate what we go through to achieve triumphant outcomes but life is definitely no guaranteed cake walk. How you escape the jaws of defeat is what illustrates your character and is what gives you the resolve to face problems and fears head on with unrelenting courage.